Another Emotional Ending, What’s Next?

July 24, 2021,

Fascinating and good looking is the best way to describe the person sitting near you at work. At the coffee shop. At the gym. At school. At camp.

There are other scenarios.

Maybe something will come out of it. A great friendship. A passionate romantic experience.

Whatever the case may be, one thing is certain.

At some point it will end. Afterwards?

Most likely you will never see or hear from them again in your entire life.

A friend in our circle had a manuscript copyrighted in Washington D.C.

One of the elements that she found to be consistent in her recreating and relating experiences from childhood to a mature adult is that, along the various pathways, she would meet these very interesting people, at times have unbelievably intense experiences and then guess what?

The ending came.

She would never ever see or hear from them again.

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What do we make of that? It is very sad. Maybe you have experienced that too. It might be nice to have them in a magical phone where you can re-connect and have access to them, 10 to 15 years later but most of us know that is not a good idea.

Once the past is done, it’s over and it is best to leave it or them in the past.

Transitions are very hard. Why? In part because it forces us to ask the troubling and sometimes frightening question, what’s next?

We see endings coming. Constantly.

One day, no matter how young and popular you are, high school will end. You will graduate.

Then what’s next?

One day, your romantic relationship is going to end, you can feel it.

Then what’s next?

One day the children will leave home and you may be left with a spouse you are not in love with.

Then what’s next?

The job that so aptly defined you in other people’s eyes and more importantly yours is coming to an end.

Then what’s next?

That can be a very troubling and frightening question.

The legendary Petula Clark sang about this so painfully and beautifully. Here are some of the lyrics.

“What now, my love, now that you left me?
How can I live through another day
Watching my dreams turn into ashes
And all my hopes into bits of clay?
Once I could see, once I could feel
Now I'm numb, I've become unreal”

How do you find your way back from that?

We’ve seen this play out on film. Time for a celluloid rewind.

A film that deeply touched and saddened us was There Is A New World Somewhere, starring Agnes Bruckner.

Here is the storyline.

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When she returns to her Texas hometown for a friend's wedding, Sylvia (Agnes Bruckner) meets an electrifying stranger named Esteban (Maurice Compte), who dares her to join him on an impromptu road trip through the South.

Where had Sylvia been? New York City. The Big Apple. Land of dreams fulfilled and severely broken. She took a huge risk and left Texas to pursue her dream of having success in the art world.

It didn’t pan out.

She was used up and thrown away by an art house without getting her work prominently shown. When she mildly protested and made a plea for her case, she was fired.

What’s next?

She decided to return to Texas to attend her friend’s wedding. You could tell she hated every second of being there.

A handsome stranger notices that.

He is keenly aware of that as he watches this beautiful women in deep pain. So he swoops in and suggests that they take a road trip together.

Sylvia surprisingly agrees.

The trip was fun for a while but you could see the ending coming. Sylvia wanted him to love her. Take her away not only from her New York failure but her future life of desperation in Texas if she allows her well-meaning friends to match make for her and she settles for a life of convenience and community.

Our friends at Femcompetitor Magazine (femcompetitor.com) wrote about this story extensively from another angle. It is worth checking out.

https://femcompetitor.com/agnes-bruckner-gorgeous-blonde-her-films-make-us-think-deeply/

Sylvia can see it is not going to work out with Esteban.

She mercifully ends it because he doesn’t have the courage to.

They will part ways and, as we shared before, probably never ever see one another again. That ending now raised a very troubling question for Sylvia.

What’s next?

Go back to New York and start over again in the art world?

Stay in Texas and be reminded of her New York failure as her friends one by one get married off? That is their dream but clearly not hers. At least not yet and certainly not in a settling sort of way.

It is an excruciating what’s next question for her. It would be for us as well.

What would we do in her circumstances?

We are from Bryan, College Station, Texas. Aggie land. We would not stay there and live a life of college football tailgating, back yard barbeques and softball games.

And gossip.

Have done it.

Can’t take it at this stage.

We would leave Texas. For where?

Good question.

It’s not about the state. It is about our distressed state of mind. It is about finding our new pathway. Our new life. Not giving up. Maybe the art dream is not realistic. It is such an incredibly subjective industry anyway. Who you know and not always about how talented you are or how great your work is.

Sylvia’s situation is much tougher than average.

What has been our response in those emotionally what’s next forced transitional situations?

Go back to what you’ve been good at.

That is really important.

Most of us have had even modest success at something. For a time, go back to what has made you feel better about yourself.

You need to feel better about yourself. That is critical.

Especially if it is work related because you absolutely need to stabilize.

We would go somewhere where no one knows us, so we would not have to answer a thousand questions about our current purgatory.

Should you have a plan when you see the ending coming?

It helps. Work stability is critical. It gives you a chance to meet new people and provide you with some place to land until you figure things out.

Doesn’t have to be the greatest job but please don’t pick one that you hate. You are better off to make less money but enjoy each day than be miserable about both your transition and nightmarish employment.

Will you go through deep depression? Most likely. We have. Still, you have to keep trudging along until you begin to see a way out. Find a new interest. Turn that interest into a passionate love.

When we say interest, we are not talking about a new love interest. That is simply placing a band aid over a deep wound. But, okay, temporarily indulge. We didn’t. Glad of it.

Life is one big transition. We all know that, even if we pretend that we don’t. Isn’t it wise to keep planning ahead of time for the inevitable endings?

Isn’t it wise to not only keep thinking about what’s next but at least in hazy outline have a plan.

You should. Like death and taxes?

There is always the question, what’s next?